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Ernie |
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 John
F. Tomczak is the author of Shared Knowledge - Dealing With
Bereavement.
John's passion is to make all Canadians
aware of how hospice societies can help
them and their loved ones at a time
of need.
John
has been recognized for his many
exemplary contributions as a board
member of Victoria Hospice Society and
the Independent Living Housing Society
as well as a founding member of Canada's
first bereavement self help group.
John is
the owner of
bereavement.ca
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Ernie
By John F. Tomczak
Ernie, whose wife died in the care of Hospice in
1988, tells of his involvement with the Walking
Group Program at Victoria Hospice some time ago.
“I still visit Hospice from time to time and I
do not find it a depressing place to be. You
have the feeling that Hospice is a place where
people go to live rather than to die. I have
heard much laughter and have seen so many good
things during the time my wife was there. My
wife died of ovarian cancer in early 1988.
“It was hard at first. I wondered how long I
would feel like this, that the world is empty.
It’s a part of your body, your life that is just
cut off when you lose a loved one. It’s a
feeling of desolation and loneliness. No one
could have more surprised than I, to discover
that going for a Saturday walk might just be the
cure."
“There is no way to describe what happens on
those walks. It’s really a miracle. The
structure is quite simple and then something
just happens in the process of walking and
talking. It has everything to do with listening
and caring."
“It’s not a hike, more just like a stroll.
People don’t really talk about their losses. We
don’t go and cry on each other’s shoulders. But
the group is supportive. There is something
between us that most people do not understand.
It’s hard to describe or even to explain. The
age difference, which in our group ranged from
the 40’s to the late 70’s doesn’t seem to matter
in the least.
“We have this common ground. Not depressing in
the least actually a jovial uplifting and
strengthening association. Occasionally people
do break down. You might come across something
your loved one carried in their purse or wallet
or open a drawer and something will trigger the
pain of your loss. None of us will say ‘buck up
or get one with it.’ They will just suffer with
and for you”.
I met Ernie on the walk that he has described. I
am pleased to say that he has found a wonderful
woman to love and they are happy. I still see a
few friends from that group and Ernie and his
wife join us on our Awareness Walks.
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| Copyright John
F. Tomczak. All rights reserved |
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For more information on bereavement support, or to
purchase Shared Knowledge, click on the
book cover. |
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