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The hospice hug |
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 John
F. Tomczak is the author of Shared Knowledge - Dealing With
Bereavement.
John's passion is to make all Canadians
aware of how hospice societies can help
them and their loved ones at a time
of need.
John
has been recognized for his many
exemplary contributions as a board
member of Victoria Hospice Society and
the Independent Living Housing Society
as well as a founding member of Canada's
first bereavement self help group.
John is
the owner of
bereavement.ca
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The Hospice Hug
By John F. Tomczak
Peggy McDowell, now retired, was a
nurse at Victoria Hospice in the early days of the
society. She tells the story of the first Hospice
Hug.
“Well it was like this. One afternoon
I noticed that Doctor Jim looked a little down. He
didn’t say anything but I could tell that he needed
something to raise his spirits, so to speak. I told
him I was going to give him a hug because he sure
looked like he needed one. So I put my arms around
him and gave him a good old-fashioned Irish hug.
Doctor Jim is a fast learner and I got a great hug
right back. Well, that was the beginning of the
Hospice Hug. The word soon spread, first to the
nurses, then the volunteers and to the rest of the
staff. I still give my own particular brand of an
Irish hug every chance I get.”
Peggy is a good friend of mine and I
can assure you that a hug from Peggy is a hug you
will never forget.
I was introduced to the Hospice Hug
when I became a member of Walking Group 4. I noticed
that the volunteers always asked if I wanted a hug.
I really appreciated being asked and I was soon an
accomplished “hugger.”
Ever since Claire and I became
volunteers in the Walking Group Program we have been
giving demonstrations of the Hospice Hug. Claire’s
friend Roger gave her a hug coupon that he had
received from a friend. The volunteers have been
using this coupon ever since as an introduction to
the Hospice Hug. The coupons are free and never go
out of date.
Some people are bit shy or even
reluctant to hug a person they have just met. The
traditional Hospice Hug greeting between volunteers
sets an example for the new walkers. We have ceased
being amazed at how soon the walkers look forward to
that Saturday morning hug. Some people who, at
first, preferred to have a handshake, in a few short
weeks become enthusiastic huggers.
There is more to a Hospice Hug than
just two people with arms around each other for a
brief moment. When I hug a person I am letting them
into a little bit of my world. I am saying to them
that I am open to them. I want to share a brief
moment of their life just as I am sharing mine with
theirs. I am letting them know that I feel for them
and I share their pain and also their joys. I want
them to know that they can trust me with their story
and I can trust them with mine. Perhaps it is
because I have received so much from Hospice and
from those I met in my walking group that I feel a
simple touch with another person can imply gentle
affection and acceptance.
The Walking Group Program at Victoria
Hospice brings folks together at a very vulnerable
time of their lives. The volunteers provide a safe,
respectful and gentle environment where expressions
of affection, comfort, understanding and support
become a part of their lives.
The Hospice Hug is the first step.
I don’t remember when or where I
received this explanation of “Hugging” but it is a
good one:
Hugging, the perfect cure for what
ails you. No movable parts, no batteries required no
periodic checkups, low energy consumption, high
energy yield, and inflation proof. No monthly
payments, no insurance requirements Theft proof, non
taxable, non polluting. And of course, fully
returnable.
Hugging is healthy, it relieves
tension, combats depression, reduces stress and
improves blood circulation, AND it has no unpleasant
side effects.
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| Copyright John
F. Tomczak. All rights reserved |
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For more information on bereavement support, or to
purchase Shared Knowledge, click on the
book cover. |
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