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Beautiful goodbyes |
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 John
F. Tomczak is the author of Shared Knowledge - Dealing With
Bereavement.
John's passion is to make all Canadians
aware of how hospice societies can help
them and their loved ones at a time
of need.
John
has been recognized for his many
exemplary contributions as a board
member of Victoria Hospice Society and
the Independent Living Housing Society
as well as a founding member of Canada's
first bereavement self help group.
John is
the owner of
bereavement.ca
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The Thursday Night Bridge Game
By John F. Tomczak
It
wasn’t long after I joined the Bereavement Self Help
Social Group at hospice that I discovered that my
fellow members were a very interesting group of
people. They were also very kind and went out of
their way to make newcomers welcome.
They
came from very diverse backgrounds complete with
many interesting stories and experiences. The
frustrating game of bridge had a great following and
I soon was a regular at the Thursday night bridge
games.
One
Thursday I picked up my bridge partner, whom I might
add was and still is a lot better player than I, and
off we went to a mutual friends place for our
regular game of bridge.
We
greeted our usual regular players and noticed a new
guest who was introduced by our host of the evening.
He
was a very pleasant man and I noticed he was careful
to repeat my partner’s name as he was introduced to
her. I thought he was overdoing it a bit but put the
thought aside and soon was doing my best at the
bridge table.
Great game, mostly because I won for a change.
However I noticed that whenever my partner and the
new guest were playing together I got the distinct
impression they actually knew each other. Being the
soul of propriety I of course said nothing but I
wondered.
Game
over, refreshment out of the way, thanks were given
and we were on the way home. My partner, usually
talkative, was strangely quiet. When I got to her
place she invited me in for another cup of coffee
and in we went. When we were settled in the living
room she asked me what I thought of the new man. I
thought, well now I am about to hear the rest of the
story. I told her I thought he was a very nice,
quiet man and an excellent bridge player. And the
rest of the story is that he was her first husband
and she hadn’t seen him in the past twenty years.
Well the irony of the situation hit us and we
laughed our heads off.
It
turns out they had a marriage that although was
seemingly happy was not to be a lasting one. They
had parted as friends but, as I said, never saw each
other again all these years. He had remarried and
recently lost his wife. She had died in the care of
hospice and that is how he came to one of the social
group’s activities.
So I
learned another little lesson. Pay attention to that
feeling one gets in any situation, don’t ask for an
explanation and most likely you will hear the rest
of the story when the time is right.
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| Copyright John
F. Tomczak. All rights reserved |
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For more information on bereavement support, or to
purchase Shared Knowledge, click on the
book cover. |
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