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Float Above The Fray!
Respond better to difficult people and they won`t
get you down.
WebMD Feature from `Natural Health Magazine
By Toni Klym McLellan
Problematic people, like strident bosses, selfish
colleagues, or indifferent salesclerks, invariably
bring out the worst in us. They make us feel angry
and helpless. If you deal with them on a daily
basis, they can interfere with your health, your
productivity, and, ultimately, your peace of mind.
To
regain your equilibrium, you’ll want to change the
way you respond to difficult people, says Nando
Pelusi, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist in
New York City. The goal is not only to find peace
with them, he advises, but also to find ways to hop
gracefully over common emotional pitfalls. Here are
some typical reactions and healthier ways to
respond:
Outrage
If
your blood pressure rises every time you interact
with difficult people, think of them as a hassle,
not a horror, says Pelusi. Be assertive, not
aggressive. Stand up for yourself by sticking to the
facts without getting personal. And remember to take
a deep breath and remind yourself that their
behavior is about them, not you.
Obsession
If
you continually obsess about difficult
relationships, you may be falling prey to the idea
that you can change people. “Usually you’re
thinking, ‘There’s a right way to behave, and it
should apply to everyone,’” says Pelusi. Challenge
your inner demand for uniform, fair, or kind
treatment, he advises, and recognize that some
people will always be obnoxious. Once you lower your
expectations, you can reduce obsession to a healthy
annoyance. Think of difficult people as obstacles in
the road—accept that they exist so you can swerve
around them instead of colliding with them.
Hurt Feelings
Acting wounded can fuel a difficult person’s
negative behavior, adds Pelusi. “Difficult people
take advantage of those who need approval.” You
don’t have to squelch your emotional nature, but you
do want to lessen your vulnerability. First, imagine
your typical reaction to difficult behavior. Then
visualize changing your emotion from hurt to
indifference. With practice, your body will learn to
respond with greater calm in real situations.
©
WebMD. All rights reserved.
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“Difficult people take advantage of those who
need approval.” |
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