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Good Friends Are Good For You
They might get on your nerves at
times, but good friends have bigger benefits than
you may realize.
By Tom Valeo
WebMD Feature
"You
got to have friends to make that day last long,"
sings Bette Midler. But good friends may help your
life last longer, too, according to an Australian
study. Conducted by the Centre for Ageing Studies at
Flinders University, the study followed nearly 1,500
older people for 10 years. It found that those who
had a large network of friends outlived those with
the fewest friends by 22%.
Why
is this so? The authors suspect that good friends
discourage unhealthy behaviors such as smoking and
heavy drinking. And the companionship provided by
friends may ward off depression, boost self-esteem,
and provide support. Also, as people age, they may
become more selective in their choice of friends, so
they spend more time with people they like.
Close relationships with children and relatives, in
contrast, had almost no effect on longevity. Lynne
C. Giles, one of the four researchers who conducted
the study, emphasized that family ties are
important; they just seem to have little effect on
survival.
The Health Benefits of Good Friends
Lots
of research has shown the health benefits of social
support.
One
such study, reported in the journal Cancer, followed
61 women with advanced ovarian cancer. Those with
ample social support had much lower levels of a
protein linked to more aggressive types of cancer.
Lower levels of the protein, known as interleukin 6,
or IL-6, also boosted the effectiveness of
chemotherapy.
Women with weak social support had levels of IL-6
that were 70% higher in general, and two-and-a-half
times higher in the area around the tumor.
In
1989, David Spiegel, MD, a professor of psychiatry
at Stanford University, published a landmark paper
in Lancet. Itshowed that women with breast cancer
who participated in a support group lived twice as
long as those who didn't. They also had much less
pain.
Sheldon Cohen, PhD, a psychology professor at
Carnegie Mellon University, in Pittsburgh, has shown
that strong social support helps people cope with
stress.
"Friends help you face adverse events," Cohen tells
WebMD. "They provide material aid, emotional
support, and information that helps you deal with
the stressors. There may be broader effects as well.
Friends encourage you to take better care of
yourself. And people with wider social networks are
higher in self-esteem, and they feel they have more
control over their lives."
Other studies have shown that people with fewer
friends tend to die sooner after having a heart
attack than people with a strong social network.
Having lots of friends may even reduce your chances
of catching a cold. That's true even though you're
probably exposed to more viruses if you spend a lot
of time with others.
"People with social support have fewer
cardiovascular problems and immune problems, and
lower levels of cortisol -- a stress hormone," says
Tasha R. Howe, PhD, associate professor of
psychology at Humboldt State University. "Why? The
evolutionary argument maintains that humans are
social animals, and we have evolved to be in groups.
We have always needed others for our survival. It's
in our genes. Therefore, people with social
connections feel more relaxed and at peace, which is
related to better health."
Friends Can Be Stressful
Friends can be a source of stress, though. In fact,
friends can cause more stress than others precisely
because we care so much about them.
Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, an assistant professor
of psychology at Brigham Young University, has found
that dealing with people who arouse conflicted
feelings in us can raise blood pressure more than
dealing with people we don't like.
"My
colleagues and I were interested in relationships
that contain a mix of positivity and negativity,"
she says. "For example, you might love your mother
very much, but still find her overbearing or
critical at times."
By
attaching people to portable blood pressure
monitors, Holt-Lunstad and her colleagues found that
blood pressure was highest when people were
interacting with someone they felt ambivalent about.
What
she found really surprising was that these
interactions caused higher blood pressure than those
with people the research subjects felt completely
negative about. "We suspect that people we feel
positive toward can hurt us that much more when they
make a snide comment or don't come through for us
because they are important to us. Friends may help
us cope with stress, but they also may create
stress."
So
would we be better off having no friends at all?
Hardly. "One thing research shows is that as one's
social network gets smaller, one's risk for
mortality increases," Holt-Lunstad says. "And it's a
strong correlation -- almost as strong as the
correlation between smoking and mortality."
The Impact of Loneliness
What
about loners? Are they at greater risk of dying
because they prefer to be alone?
Only
if they feel lonely. One study found that drug use
among young people was higher among those who said
they were lonely. Older lonely people tended to have
higher blood pressure and poorer sleep quality. They
also were more tense and anxious.
Another study found that college freshmen who had
small social networks and claimed to be lonely had
weaker immune responses to flu vaccinations. They
also had higher levels of stress hormones in their
blood.
Unfortunately, people have fewer friends than they
used to, according to a recent study, "Social
Isolation in America," published in the American
Sociological Review. The authors found that from
1985 to 2004, the number of Americans who feel they
have someone with whom they can discuss important
matters dropped by nearly one-third. The number of
people who said they had no one they could discuss
such matters with tripled to nearly 25%. The authors
suspect that long work hours and the popularity of
the Internet may contribute to the decline in close
relationships.
The
study also found that the percentage of people who
talk about important matters only to family members
increased from 57% to 80%. Those who depend solely
on their spouse for these talks increased from 5% to
9%.
How Women's Friendships Are Different
From Men's
In
general, women are better at maintaining friendships
than men. Women "tend and befriend," says Shelley E.
Taylor, PhD, a psychology professor at UCLA. They
respond to stress by protecting and nurturing others
("tending"), and by seeking support from others
("befriending"). This pattern regulates the seeking,
giving, and receipt of social support, Taylor says.
It produces health benefits by reducing
psychological and biological stress.
And
Margaret Gibbs, PhD, a professor of psychology at
Fairleigh Dickinson University, found that men and
women relate to others differently throughout life.
"We
found that women seemed more geared to empathy,
while male friendships are more geared to
companionship and altruism," she tells WebMD. "Male
friendships are more about helping each other --
mending the lawn mower, that sort of thing. Women's
friendships tend to have a more emotional content --
listening to friends' stories and coming up with
helpful solutions."
©
WebMD. All rights reserved.
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"Friends help you face adverse
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