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Dealing With the Jerk at Work
You can confront the office jerk and
reclaim your sanity at work. Human resource pros
show you how.
By Elizabeth Heubeck
WebMD Feature
Did
you ever stop to wonder why the television sitcom
The Office, which features a first-class office jerk
-- the boss, no less -- is so popular?
Simple. For starters, it's a theme to which so many
of us can relate. If you've ever worked in an
office, chances are you've encountered an office
jerk -- that annoying co-worker whose ridiculous
antics or downright inappropriate behavior wreaks
havoc on the productivity and morale of every other
office employee. It's also a lot easier to laugh at
the office jerk whose cubicle is nowhere near yours.
It's
an entirely different matter when you're stuck
working with an office jerk day in and day out. When
you're at the receiving end of the office jerk's bad
behavior -- whether it's bullying, backstabbing,
egotism, or just downright annoying behavior --
there's little humor in it, especially when you feel
helpless about changing it.
But
there is hope, say experts. Understanding why the
office jerk continues unabated to get under
co-workers' skin and learning how to confront the
creep head on can make the work environment a whole
lot more tolerable. WebMD asked human resource pros
to share the inside scoop on what makes an office
jerk tick, and how to dismantle the ticking time
bomb.
Office Jerks Operate in Oblivion
Like
Michael Scott, the clueless boss on The Office, most
office jerks have no idea that their behavior annoys
co-workers, contributes to workplace stress, and
disrupts the organization's productivity.
Mitchell Kusy, PhD, a Fulbright scholar and
professor at Antioch University, has spent years
studying the causes and effects of behavior by
"toxic individuals" in the workplace -- aka office
jerks. "Most toxic individuals don't realize they're
toxic," Kusy tells WebMD.
When
he and colleagues surveyed 500 corporate leaders
identified by co-workers as "toxic," most admitted
they had no idea how their behavior was perceived by
others in the workplace.
Other experts echo Kusy's findings. "Don't assume
that people know they're being challenging or
difficult," says Julie Jansen, a workplace
consultant and author of the book, You Want Me to
Work With Who?
Chances are, office jerks are surprised, even
shocked, to learn how irksome co-workers find their
behavior.
It
may not seem fair, but often those of us on the
receiving end of the office jerk's antics are partly
to blame for the ongoing onslaught of insulting
behavior. That's because most of us shy away from
confronting the bully, belittler, cheater,
backstabber, or other kind of office jerk who makes
our work lives so miserable.
Office Jerks Are Rarely Called on
Their Bad Behavior
Let's face it: Few of us enjoy confrontations. So as
demoralizing as it can be to work with office jerks,
most of us try to ignore them. Research bears this
out. Surveying more than 900 people about their
thoughts on "untouchable employees" -- defined as
poor-performing, rude, and/or obnoxious co-workers
-- corporate consulting company VitalSmarts found
that the office jerk, although ubiquitous, is rarely
confronted. An overwhelming 94% of respondents said
that the problems these "untouchables" create in the
office are no secret to peers and even bosses, but
about three-quarters of respondents admitted that
they avoid confronting these problem-makers,
choosing instead to complain to co-workers or
attempting to work around them.
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"Most toxic
individuals don't realize they're
toxic," |
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Experts insist that if more
people would call office jerks on their bad
behavior -- from actions as simple as poor
office etiquette to those as serious as
harassment -- then the workplace would run
much more smoothly. If only it were that
easy. |
Of
those willing to muster the guts to confront an
office jerk, few have a clue how to do it
effectively. Such confrontations often have the
opposite effect of what was intended, creating rifts
instead of opening up honest and productive
dialogue. But, say the experts, when done right,
confronting the office jerk can work wonders.
How to Confront the Jerk at Work
Implement company values that squeeze out "jerk"
behavior. Those at the top should take
responsibility for stamping out poor behavior among
office jerks, say experts. Think of unruly children
whose parents provide them with no rules. Office
jerks aren't much different. If a company lacks
enforceable behavior standards, office jerks
essentially have a green light to go about their
business as they please.
"Managing performance isn't going to be as effective
if systems that consist of concrete, behaviorally
specific values aren't in place," Kusy tells WebMD.
Take integrity, for instance. If a company's
leadership doesn't openly communicate the
requirement that all employees maintain integrity,
they can't in earnest admonish the employee who
talks trash about co-workers behind their backs. But
if upper management has made clear that integrity is
a company value to be upheld, co-workers who breach
this value should be held accountable.
To
ensure all employees are invested in upholding
company values, get everyone -- office jerks
included -- involved in the process of developing
behavior-oriented workplace standards, suggests Kusy.
"It's that much more valuable to individual
employees if you involve them in creating these
values," he tells WebMD.
Establishing workplace values simplifies the
sometimes sticky business of confronting an office
jerk. "There's no easy way to have the discussion.
But it's easier to have the talk once those values
are designed and communicated throughout the
organization," Kusy says. That way, whoever
initiates the confrontation with the jerk -- whether
it's the boss or a co-worker -- can point to a
breach in specific company values. Subsequently, the
target of the confrontation can't reasonably
construe the conversation as a personal attack.
Avoid personal attacks. When the target of a
confrontation feels personally attacked -- as if
other employees simply don't like that person
because of his or her personality, for instance --
it's likely that communication will either
deteriorate or shut down completely. But there are
ways to avoid these pitfalls.
"Hide behind the work. Remember, it's not about the
person," Jansen says.
Others agree. "Keep it about the job," says Nancy D.
O'Reilly, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and founder
of the web site Womenspeak.com. Don't just say you
don't like the offender's behavior; tell him or her
that the behavior is interfering with your ability
to complete your job, O'Reilly advises. Then, be
prepared to note which behaviors you find offensive,
and offer specific examples of when they have been
used in the office.
Experts also recommend that employees confront
troublesome co-workers themselves, first. Then, if
that is ineffective, they should go up the chain of
command.
When the Boss Is the Jerk
It's
one thing to tell your co-worker that his or her
behavior stands in stark contrast to everything the
company values; it's quite another to tell your boss
that. But a bad boss can be just as detrimental, if
not more so, to the health of a company -- and its
employees.
Just
as there are countless types of office jerks,
several types of bad bosses exist, says Laura
Crawshaw, PhD, an executive coach and author of How
to End Unnecessary Roughness in the Workplace.
She
lumps them into five subcategories that fit under
the umbrella of the abrasive boss: overreacting,
controlling, condescending, publicly humiliating,
and those with a threatening attitude. "All these
behaviors serve to intimidate," Crawshaw tells
WebMD.
Another characteristic that bad bosses share?
"These abrasive bosses are generally blind to the
impact they have on other people," Crawshaw says.
But
Crawshaw believes they can change their behavior.
"If you bring back very specific feedback regarding
the stress they've created, they're often shocked
and remorseful," she says.
Even
though it can be intimidating, Crawshaw recommends
that employees initiate a confrontation directly
with their troublesome boss. Only if that proves
unsuccessful should employees get human resources
involved, she advises.
"These may be risky strategies. But, too often,
employees leave the company without even trying
them," Crawshaw says.
©
WebMD. All rights reserved.
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"Don't assume that people know they're being
challenging or difficult" |
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