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your life running you ragged? (PT 1) |
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Is Your Life Running You Ragged?
You take care of your kids, your parents, your job,
your home -- but what about yourself? Find out
whether your balancing act needs a tune-up in Part 1
of WebMD's 2-part series on achieving better
work-life balance.
By Sherry Rauh
WebMD Feature
You
take care of your kids, your parents, your job, your
home -- but what about yourself? Find out whether
your balancing act needs a tune-up.
"Me
time" is a distant memory for Kate Wiley. Most days
she can barely catch her breath between caring for
her 18-month-old son, working, and studying to
become a dietitian.
"Housework, spending time with my son, a date night
with my husband, working, schoolwork -- the list
goes on. There are weeks when I feel like I am
running at 110% with no time to stop," Wiley tells
WebMD. "The house isn't clean, I have too many
things to do for my internship, and I want to spend
time with my child -- quality time where we get to
sit and read or cuddle or play. There doesn't seem
to be enough time for it all."
If
this sounds like your life, you're in good company.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, most
parents with children younger than 18 work outside
the home, including a majority of mothers with
infants and toddlers. It's no surprise that working
moms and dads, particularly those with additional
responsibilities such as caring for an aging parent,
find it difficult to make time for themselves.
Activities that contribute to health, such as
preparing nutritious meals, exercising, and pursuing
hobbies tend to become elusive goals if they make
the list at all.
"The
last thing on my list is time for me," Wiley says,
"and the lack of downtime often makes me feel
overwhelmed and ready to crack."
Almost everyone feels overwhelmed on occasion, but
how do you know if your life is chronically out of
balance? Prominent personal coach Laura Berman
Fortgang tells WebMD, "You know it's time to make a
change when misery and stress outweigh joy on a
daily basis for two weeks or more."
Fortgang, who is the author of Living Your
Best Life and
NOW WHAT? 90 Days to a New Life Direction,
recommends evaluating the state of your life with
the following quiz.
True
or false:
1. I have more than enough time to do what I
want to do.
2. I am on a health regimen that helps me feel
energized.
3. I look forward to every day.
4. There are no people in my life (at home or at
work) who drain me.
5. I love my home (location, contents, the feel,
the style).
6. I have no clutter in my home and/or office.
7. I live a life pursuing what I want instead of
what I should do.
8. My work is satisfying and rewarding.
9. I take at least two weeklong vacations a
year.
10. I do not work on weekends.
11. I get plenty of sleep.
12. I have plenty of quality time with my
children and/or the people who matter to me.
13. I have at least one hobby or pastime outside
of my work and family activities.
14. I eat foods that make me feel energized
instead of sluggish.
15. I have the space to take at least 15 minutes
of silence a day.
16. I have friends that are easy to be with and
a joy to spend time with.
17. I carry no heavy emotional burdens or
addictive behaviors.
Give
yourself one point for every time you said "true."
If you answered "true" more often than "false" (a
score of at least 9), you are probably living a
well-balanced life. If you scored 8 or less, your
lifestyle may need some fine-tuning.
So
you flunked the quiz -- now what? "Stop. Take two
days off immediately to regroup and relax," Fortgang
advises. "Ask yourself what you are hating,
tolerating, or resenting about the current state of
your life. Make a list and start doing your best to
correct things right away."
Why
is it so important to get your life back in balance?
"Without change, everything will get worse, not
better," says Stevan Hobfoll, PhD, distinguished
professor of psychology at Kent State University.
Allowing your life to overwhelm you week after week,
year after year, can lead to exhaustion, depression,
and anxiety disorders. Your health, your family, and
your career will suffer as a result, Hobfoll tells
WebMD.
"Relationship problems will get more serious,
burnout will become more severe. You will do your
job badly and possibly get fired. ... The romantic
parts of your relationship will become part of some
deep webs of your memory."
Hobfoll and his wife, Ivonne Heras Hobfoll,
co-authored Work Won't
Love You Back: The Dual Career Couple's Survival
Guide. Rather than
viewing your family and job as competing
commitments, Hobfoll recommends shedding "the
mythology of the rat race." He says investing time
in your relationships will benefit you career.
"Intimacy is one of the main things that counteracts
burnout and stress." Similarly, investing time in
yourself will benefit your relationships. That means
creating space to do the things you enjoy, even if
you have to neglect the dishes on occasion and ask
friends or family to help out with your kids.
"I
thought I could do it all on my own, but when I
stopped and asked for some assistance, things got
much easier," Wiley says. "I have realized that
taking a break from the baby can be a great thing. I
am a better mother if I get time to myself and time
with my husband. "
So
you've decided to strive for a more balanced life,
but you're not sure where to start? In
Part 2 of our series, WebMD gives you five
realistic tips for better work-life balance. No
major overhauls. Nothing costly. Just some
fine-tuning that most people can accomplish through
a little self-examination and planning.
©
WebMD. All rights reserved.
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Allowing your life to overwhelm you week after
week, year after year, can lead to exhaustion,
depression, and anxiety disorders. |
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