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Mid-Life Crisis: Transition or Depression?
What do you do when a midlife crisis turns into
depression?
By Kathleen Doheny
WebMD Feature
What's a midlife crisis? It's the stuff of jokes and
stereotypes -- the time in life when you do
outrageous, impractical things like quit a job
impulsively, buy a red sports car, or dump your
spouse.
For
years, midlife crisis conjured those images. But
these days, the old midlife crisis is more likely to
be called a midlife transition -- and it's not all
bad.
The
term crisis often doesn't fit, mental health experts
say, because while it can be accompanied by serious
depression, it can also mark a period of tremendous
growth. The trick, of course, is to realize when the
transition is developing into depression so you can
get help.
Defining Midlife Crisis
Beginning in the 1980s, the term midlife crisis got
a lot of attention, says Dan Jones, PhD, director of
the Counseling and Psychological Services Center at
Appalachian State University, Boone, N.C. He has
researched adult development and transitions.
"It
was never a formal diagnostic category," he says of
the term midlife crisis. And the age at which
midlife crisis strikes can vary, he says. When
midlife occurs depends on whom you ask and partly on
such factors as how long they expect to live.
A
midlife crisis might occur anywhere from about age
37 through the 50s, he says.
By
whatever term, the crisis or transition tends to
occur around significant life events, he says, such
as your youngest child finishing college, or a
"zero" birthday announcing to the world that you're
entering a new decade.
"The
death of parents can be a marker, too, for these
midlife events," Jones says.
Midlife Crisis: His vs. Hers
Men
and women are equally likely to experience a
transition or crisis, Jones says. "But it looks
different in both genders," he says.
"The
stereotype is a man buys a red sports car," he says.
That's not always the case, of course, but Jones
says men do seem more intent on wanting to prove
something.
Men
might gauge their worth by their job performance, he
says. They may want to look successful, for
instance, even though their achievements don't
measure up as they had hoped.
"Women often get validity through relationships," he
says, and that's true even if they've had a lifelong
career. So at midlife, they are likely to evaluate
their performance as a wife, mother, or both.
The Midlife Crisis as a Normal Stage
in Life
The
midlife transition is looked on, more and more, as a
normal part of life. Yale psychologist Daniel
Levinson proposed in his well-regarded theory of
adult development that all adults go through a
series of stages. At the center of his theory is the
life structure, which is described as the underlying
pattern of a person's life at any particular time.
For
many people, the life structure involves mainly
family and work, but it can also include religion
and economic status, for instance. According to his
theory, the midlife transition is simply another,
normal transition to another stage of life.
In
midlife, people often reevaluate their priorities
and goals, Jones finds.
Women, feeling they have raised their children, may
want to go back to school, even if they have been in
the work force, reasoning they can now do whatever
they wish, work-wise.
"They're able to follow up on some dreams," he says,
that might have been abandoned due to family
responsibilities.
"Men
may get more in touch with their feminine side,"
Jones says. That could mean taking up cooking or art
or volunteering with children.
Meanwhile, midlife women may become more selfish,
Jones says, even though they value relationships.
They may feel they have "paid their dues" and not be
willing, say, to babysit the grandkids every time
they are asked.
Midlife Crisis: Path to Depression or
Growth?
The
midlife transition can be enlightening for some but
also tough, agrees Joan R. Sherman, LMFT, a licensed
marriage and family therapist in Lancaster, Pa.
Whether a midlife transition will develop into
serious depression or into an opportunity for growth
depends on a number of factors, including support
from partners and other loved ones.
Sherman recalls a woman who came to her for
counseling. She was in her late 40s, married to a
man about the same age who had traveled extensively
for his job throughout their marriage. That left her
with full-time household responsibility, raising the
kids.
She
had been a nurse, but gave that up to be a full-time
parent. When the kids went off to college, she
thought, "What now?" Sherman says. The woman told
her she felt she had lost her whole identity.
The
husband, who also talked to Sherman, became
concerned after his wife spent nearly a week
sleeping and crying.
The
next time Sherman saw the woman in therapy, she
offered her an alternative thought: "You're not
losing your identity. You have an opportunity to
create a new one."
Yes,
her parenting role would change, but having much
less responsibility -- as her kids were now in
college -- would free her up to develop a new image
and identity. The thought appealed to her. The next
week, she went to a college placement service to
explore her options.
When Midlife Crisis Turns Into
Depression
Not
everyone glides through their midlife transition
that easily, of course, Jones says.
In
midlife, people need to be aware of symptoms of
serious depression, such as:
-
Change in eating habits
-
Change in sleeping habits, fatigue
-
Feelings of pessimism or hopelessness
-
Restlessness, anxiety or irritability
-
Feeling of guilt, helplessness or worthlessness
-
Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed,
including sex and hobbies
-
Thoughts of suicide or attempts at suicide
-
Physical aches or pains such as headaches or
gastrointestinal upset that don't respond to
treatment
When Midlife Crisis Turns Into
Depression: What Helps?
Behavior or "talk" therapy, as well as prescription
antidepressant medication, can help treat major or
clinical depression, says Anita H. Clayton, MD,
professor of psychiatry and neurobehavioral sciences
at the University of Virginia, Charlottesville.
In a
study published in the Journal of Consulting and
Clinical Psychology, Stanford University researchers
compared medication alone, talk therapy alone, or a
combination in 656 persons with chronic depression.
They found that the combination produces a faster,
fuller remission of chronic depression.
If
depression is milder, Clayton says, a single
approach may be enough.
©
WebMD. All rights reserved.
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The midlife transition is
looked on, more and more, as a normal part
of life.
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