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9
Steps to End Chronic Worrying
Experts explain how to reduce excessive worrying
that can have mental and physical effects.
By Denise Mann
WebMD Feature
Are
you a worry wart? A nervous Nellie? Do you
constantly fret about everything and anything from
your health to how you are perceived at work to
whether or not a terror strike is imminent?
If
this sounds like you, then you may be worrying your
life away. This excessive worry doesn't just affect
your mental health; it also can wreak havoc on your
physical well-being. That's why WebMD spoke with
experts about the reasons some of us worry
excessively -- and ways to break this cycle and
regain your life.
Who Are the Worriers?
Why
are some people so prone to "what if disease," while
others merely worry about something when it happens?
There are several reasons, explains Robert L. Leahy,
PhD, the author of The Worry Cure: 7 Steps to
Stop Worry From Stopping You
and the director of the American Institute for
Cognitive Therapy in New York City.
"There is a genetic component," he says. "There are
also nurture or non-nurture factors."
For
example, people who come from divorced homes are 70%
more likely to have generalized anxiety disorder --
characterized by chronic anxiety, exaggerated worry,
and tension.
Overprotective parents tend to raise worriers as
well, he says. "Reverse parenting may also play a
role." This occurs when the child is taking care of
the parents because they are not functioning well.
"There is probably is a biological component to
chronic worry, but there is also an early
environment component," agrees Sandy Taub, PsyD, a
psychologist and psychoanalyst in private practice
in Wilmington, Del. "The feeling of safety that 'my
mother will keep me safe' should be internalized and
grow along with you so that, for the most part, you
feel secure," she explains.
"But
if you had a mom who was not as available and not
consistent, you can develop the mind-set that the
world is not such a safe place." Divorce and
overprotection can also gnaw away at a person's
feelings of internal safety and security.
What Makes Us Worry?
So
now we know who worries, but why do they worry?
"People worry because they think something bad will
happen or could happen, so they activate a
hypervigilant strategy of worry and think that 'if I
worry I can prevent this bad thing from happening or
catch it early,'" Leahy says. Put another way: If
you didn't worry, things might get out of hand. The
worrier's credo is that if you can simply imagine
something bad happening, it's your responsibility to
worry about it.
And
all this worry can affect your physical as well as
your mental health. Worriers tend to be
overutilizers of the health care system, meaning
they see their doctor for just about every ache and
pain, Leahy says.
"Worriers are more likely to have irritable bowel
syndrome, nausea, fatigue, and aches and pains," he
says. In addition, 93% of people with generalized
anxiety disorder also have an overlapping
psychiatric disorder such as depression, according
to Leahy.
Do You Worry Too Much?
Worrying doesn't always deserve such a bad rap.
Sometimes worry is a good thing, says Bruce Levin,
MD, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst in Plymouth
Meeting, Pa. "If there is an actual threat then
there is something to worry about," he says. "If you
run into a bear in the woods, you have something to
worry about." In these cases, "not worrying may be
more of a problem than to worry."
So how much worry is too much worry?
"It
depends on the degree to which that disproportionate
worry affects you and how much you are suffering and
how much it limits you," he says. "If it's posing
interference in your life or is enough of a problem
or nuisance that you are distressed, the good news
is there is help."
9 Worry-Busting Steps
No. 1. Make a list of your worries. Identify
what you are worried about, says Leahy.
No. 2. Analyze the list. "Look at whether your
worry is productive or unproductive," Leahy says. A
productive worry is one that you can do something
about right now. For example, "I am going to Italy,
so I may be worried about making plane and hotel
reservations," he says. "This is a productive worry
because I can take action now by going online to
make reservations."
By
contrast, an unproductive worry is one which you
can't do anything about. "It is more of a
proliferation of 'what ifs,' over which you have no
control and there is no productive action that will
lead to a solution," Leahy says. For example,
losing sleep and worrying about whether or not you
will get cancer is unproductive.
No. 3. Embrace uncertainty. Once you have
isolated your unproductive worries, it's time to
identify what you need to accept in order to get
over them, Leahy says. You may need to accept your
own limitations or it may be a degree of uncertainty
that you need to accept.
For
example, you very well may get cancer some day as no
one really knows what the future holds. "Many
worried people equate uncertainty with a bad
outcome, but uncertainty is really neutral," he
says. "When you accept uncertainty, you don't have
to worry anymore. Acceptance means noticing that
uncertainty exists and letting go and focusing on
the things that you can control, enjoy, or
appreciate."
No. 4. Bore yourself calm. "Repeat a feared
thought over and over and it will become boring and
will go away," Leahy says. If your fear is dying of
cancer, look in the mirror and say, "I may die of
cancer. I may die of cancer." Say it enough and it
will lose its power.
No 5. Make yourself uncomfortable. "Worriers
feel that they can't tolerate discomfort, but if you
practice discomfort, you will accomplish a lot
more," Leahy says. "The goal is to be able to do
what you don't want to do or things that make you
uncomfortable."
Worriers tend to avoid new things and situations
that make them uncomfortable, such as parties or
public speaking engagements. The preemptive worry
helps them avoid discomfort, but if you force
yourself to do the very things that make you
uncomfortable, you will rely less on worry as a
coping strategy.
No 6. Stop the clock. "Worried people often have
a sense of urgency," Leahy says. "They think, 'I
need the answer right now and if I don't get it then
something terrible will happen.'" Look at the
advantages and disadvantages of demanding such
urgency. "Rather than focus on the sense of urgency,
instead focus on what you observe right now," Leahy
says.
"Ask
yourself, 'What can I do in the present moment to
make my life more pleasant or meaningful?'" he says.
"You can either focus your mind on getting an answer
right now or focus on improving the moment." The
latter is the better strategy. Take a deep breath,
read, or listen to music to stop the clock and
curtail your anxiety.
No 7. Remember that it's never as bad as you
think it will be. Anxiety or worry is all about
anticipation. The 'what ifs' are always way worse
than how you feel when something actually happens.
"Worriers tend to worry about things that even if
they happen, they can handle it," Leahy says.
"Worriers are actually good at handling real
problems."
No 8. Cry out loud. "The emotional part of the
brain -- the amygdala -- is suppressed when you
worry," Leahy explains. "The emotion kicks in later
with gastrointestinal symptoms, fatigue or rapid
heart rate. Use your emotions; don't try to get rid
of them because when you are crying or angry, you
are not worried."
No 9. Talk about it. Beside the cognitive
therapy techniques mentioned above -- which can help
change troublesome behaviors -- talk therapy can
also help chronic worriers worry less by getting to
the root of their issues. Often talk therapy and
cognitive behavior therapy can work together, Taub
says.
"Each individual needs to understand what causes
their anxiety or what it is related to," she says.
"If you dig deep enough and go back to the early
bases, it goes away because you have gotten to its
roots."
©
WebMD. All rights reserved.
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"The worrier's credo is that
if you can simply imagine something bad
happening, it's your responsibility to worry
about it." |
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