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Laws of Cat Physics
Understanding these laws will make life with your
cat easier.....
Law
of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly
proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her
embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just
to show you he can.
Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place
possible; often the midsection of an unsuspecting,
reclining human.
Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse
proportion to the amount of effort a human expends
in trying to interest him or her.
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Antimatter + It
Doesn't Matter.
Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state when a
cat is present.
Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's
desire for her to do something.
Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can only be stored by a lot of
napping.
Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone
will come along and take out something good to
eat.
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a
cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair
in direct proportion to the darkness of the
fabric.
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