|
|
| |
|
|
| |
Celebrity Quotes
"I
grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. I
saw something in a program on in Miami, and they
were saying, "We've redecorated this building to how
it looked over 50
years ago!" And people were going, "No, surely not.
No one was alive then!"
--Eddie Izzard
"If California can't solve the energy crisis, it
will spread to the rest of the nation, and the
economy will collapse, and we will become a
primitive society where we all run around naked with
spears and refuse to attend meetings.
Wouldn't that be GREAT?" --Dave Barry
"My mom is very possessive. She calls me up and says
things like, 'You weren't home last night. Is
something gong on?'
I say, 'Yeah Mom, I'm cheating on you with another
mother.'"
--Heidi Joyce
"This week we're coming to you from Las Vegas. I
went to "New York, New York" last night. That place
is nice. I don't care much for the casino across
the street. "Cleveland, Cleveland". --Jay Leno
"She thinks that tactics are a new kind of breath
mint."
--Billy Connolly
"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so
that when you yell the name will carry." --Bill
Cosby
"The
method preferred by most balding men for making
themselves look silly is called the 'comb-over,'
which is when he man grows the hair on one side of
his head very long
and combs it across the bald area, creating an
effect that looks...from the top...like an egg in
the grasp of a large tropical spider."
--Dave Barry
"'Muesli' is not a word we use in America. When we
sweep up after we have been doing woodwork and put
it in a bag with mixed nuts and a little birdseed,
and pretend it's a healthful breakfast, we call it
granola."
--Bill Bryson in I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF
"President bush moved to open up a third of all
remote national forest lands to road building and
logging. This is supposed to help more Americans
visit. You know where you can see the giant redwoods
at sequoia national park?
At Home Depot." --Jay Leno
"A recent study has found that some girls start to
learn cruelty and manipulation as young as three
years old - or as Martha Stewart calls them - 'late
bloomers'."
--Conan O'Brien
"Sunday is Grandparents Day. The good thing is that
if you forget there's a good chance your
grandparents did too."
--Conan O'Brien
|
|
Click
here for more humor |
|
 |
|
|
|
It's easy to stay up to date on the things that interest you. Just
