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Clean Laffs   A bricklayer routinely complained about the contents of his lunch box. "I'm sick and tired of getting the same old thing!" he shouted one day. "Tonight I'll set my wife straight." The next day the men could hardly wait until lunch time to hear what happened. "You bet I told her off," the bricklayer boasted. "I said, No more of the same old stuff. Be creative!' We had one heck of a fight, but I got my point across." He had indeed. In front of an admiring audience, he opened his lunch box to find that his wife had packed a coconut and a hammer.     There was this man who, many years ago, worked for a large business. That was his lifetime employment, but he wasn't happy there. He wanted to go in business for himself. He saved his money and finally had enough that he could quit and start his own business. About two years later, I was on vacation and was going through the town where his business was located. I stopped by for a visit. "Hey John, I heard that the first year is the hardest for a new business." "Yeah, the first year was pretty rough, but we are doing pretty good now. In fact, I'm getting to where I only have to work half a day." "Wow, that's pretty nice. Maybe I should think about going into business for myself." "Yeah, and the nicest part of it is that it doesn't matter which twelve hours you work."     The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply... "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."     We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came upon the following garbled diagnosis: "This man has pholenfrometry." Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double-checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head. "This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen from a tree."     I knew I had been in the military too long when my five-year old daughter sang her version of "Silent Night."   It went like this: "Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright, Round yon virgin mother and child, Holy infantry, tender and mild..."

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