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Things That Take Most Of Us 50 Years To Learn
1. The badness of a movie is
directly proportional to the number of helicopters
in it.
2. You will never find anybody who can give you
a clear and compelling reason why we observe
daylight-saving time.
3. You should never say anything to a woman
that even remotely suggests you think she's
pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.
4. The most powerful force in the universe
is: gossip.
5. The one thing that unites all human
beings, regardless of age, gender, religion,
economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
down inside, we ALL believe that we are
above-average drivers.
6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting
other people to make a big deal about your birthday.
That time is: age 11.
7. There is a very fine line between "hobby"
and "mental illness."
8. People who want to share their religious
views with you almost never want you to share
yours with them.
9. If you had to identify, in one word, the
reason why the human race has not achieved, and
never will achieve, its full potential, that word
would be "meetings."
10. The main accomplishment of almost all
organized protests is to annoy people who are not in
them.
11. If there really is a God who created the entire
universe with all of its glories, and he decides to
deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as
his messenger a person on cable TV with a
bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up
too.
12. You should not confuse your career with your
life.
13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to
the waiter/janitor is not a nice person.
14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a
way to take it too seriously.
15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there
is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command. Very often,
that individual is crazy.
16. Your true friends love you, anyway.
17. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get
up and dance.
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