|
|
| |
|
|
| |
Late Night Wisdom
"Here's the kind of thing that only happens only in
New York. There's a restaurant in New York City
that's selling a pizza. The price of the pizza:
$1,000. Here's what you get: caviar on the pizza,
lobster, and a hat that reads, 'Dumbass.'" - Dave
Letterman
"Actor Keanu reeves is accused of hitting a
celebrity photographer with his Porsche Tuesday
while leaving a parking lot. The good news, there
was no damage done to the Porsche. I was so
worried." -Jay Leno
"Britney Spears has agreed to give estranged husband
Kevin Federline $20 million in a divorce settlement.
Apparently Federline will get $2 million in cash and
the rest in beef jerky." -Conan O'Brien
"It's chilly here.
But it's terrible weather back East. Another massive
snowstorm has hit the Northeast... Or, as
environmentalists call it, a 'temporary global
warming hiatus.'" -Jay Leno
"Here's some good news. Drug use among teenagers is
down. Teenagers are saying "No" to drugs. Now if we
can just get the teenagers to say "No" to their
teachers we'd be in great shape." - Jay Leno
"Israel has recalled its ambassador to El Salvador,
after the ambassador was found drunk and naked in
the yard of his residence. Today, Israel announced
that he's their new ambassador to Ireland." - Conan
O'Brien
"It's a great day for the Georgia man who won $80
million. I found out who he is; I Googled him. He's
a 52-year-old man who lives with his mom. I wonder
what he's going to do with his money. He'll probably
use it to get a younger, hotter mom. A trophy mom."
- Craig Ferguson
|
|
Click
here for more humor |
|
 |
|
|
|
It's easy to stay up to date on the things that interest you. Just
