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Signs You're a Lousy Cook
Your family automatically heads for the table every
time they hear a fire siren.
Your kids know what "peas porridge in a pot nine
days old" tastes like.
Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of
the family grabs forks and follows him.
Your kids' favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.
You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week
for your toy poodle.
Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by
inviting him over for dinner.
Your kids got suspended from school for trying to
smuggle toxic waste in their lunch bags.
Your husband refers to the smoke detector as the
oven timer.
No matter what you do to it, the gravy still turns
bright purple.
You burned the house down trying to make jelly.
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