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Mile High
Comedians
Flying can be scary and that's why
pilots and flight attendants sometimes try and add a
bit of humor to the experience. Here are some actual
on-board announcements:
"We'd like to remind you to turn off your cellular
phones, computers, video games or any other
electronic device that may interfere with the
Captain's pacemaker."
"Any
person caught smoking in the lavatories will be
asked to leave the plane immediately."
"We
are pleased to have some of the best flight
attendants in the business. Sadly, none of them are
working this flight."
"Folks, if you were with us last week, we never got
around to mentioning that it was National
Procrastination Day."
After the plane touched down and was
coming to a stop, the pilot's voice came over the
loudspeaker: "Whoa,
big fella, WHOA!"
"As
you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all
of your belongings. Anything left behind will be
distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses."
"Thank you for flying Business Express. We hope you
enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed
taking you for a ride."
"Thanks for flying with us today. And the next time
you get the urge to go blasting through the skies in
a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of
us."
"Last one off the plane has to clean it."
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