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The Perks of Being Over
60
1.
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released
first.
3. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
4. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m.
9. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You have a party and the neighbors don't even
realize it.
12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter
who walks in the room.
14. You sing along with the elevator music.
15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
16. Your investment in health insurance is finally
beginning to pay off.
17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than
the National Weather Service.
18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they
can't remember them either.
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