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Did They Get the
Job?
Following are a few gems taken from actual
resumes:
"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't
require prescription drugs.
"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please
don't let them know of my immediate availability."
"Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and
integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a
class act and do not come cheap."
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as
'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
"Number of dependents: 40."
"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB: "Responsibility
makes me nervous."
"They insisted that all employees get to work by
8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those
conditions."
JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:
"While I am open to the initial nature of an
assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so
oriented as to at least partially incorporate the
experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be
configured so as to ultimately lead to the
application of more rarefied facets of financial
management as the major sphere of responsibility."
"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award."
"My goal is to be a meteorologist. Since I have no
training in meteorology, I suppose I should try
stock brokerage."
"I procrastinate - especially when the task is
unpleasant."
PHYSICAL DISABILITIES:
"Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian
sheep."
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