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Helpful Tips to Make Life Simple
Old
telephone books make ideal personal address
books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of
people you don't know.
Fool other drivers into thinking you have an
expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video
remote control up to your ear and occasionally
swerving across the road and mounting the curb.
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield
wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your
car parked illegally.
No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape
and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.
Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping
them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on
your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet,
in which case a contrasting polish should be
selected).
If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat
and presto! The blockage is almost instantly
removed.
Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of
whiskey. The following morning you can create the
effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of
dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly
on the wall.
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