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Tickle Your Funnybone!
Submitted by Jocelyn
I dialed
a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring
enough to call. I am making some changes in my
life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do
not return your call, you are one of the changes."
At
pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us,
"Always try to keep the number of landings you make
equal to the number of take offs you make."
Little
Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house.
Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight
into his eyes and said,
"I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake."
"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could
make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces
without asking."
Aspire
to inspire before you expire.
My wife
and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
As my
five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one
day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see
something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those
who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son,
"We should pray."
From the back seat I heard his earnest request:
"Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to
McDonald's."
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your
glasses.
Blessed
are those who can give without remembering and take
without forgetting.
The
irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to
know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
God made
man before woman so as to give him time to think of an
answer for her first question.
I was
always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting
harder to find one.
Every
morning is the dawn of a new error.
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