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Empty Nest Not So Bad?
When firstborn leaves home, relationship changes,
often in rewarding ways
By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Medical News
When
firstborn kids grow up and leave home, it's an
adjustment for parents, but that shift can
rewarding, not the bleak "empty nest syndrome" some
may expect.
That's according to a new study of parents whose
eldest child had recently left home as a young
adult.
The
study included 142 pairs of moms and dads. Those
parents weren't quite empty nesters; they still had
at least one younger child at home. But their nest
had begun emptying; their eldest child had left
home, typically for college.
By
telephone, the researchers interviewed the parents
about their relationship with their newly
independent child.
Moms
and dads were pretty much on the same wavelength;
both tended to see positive changes in the
parent-child relationship.
One
of those changes was getting to know their child as
an adult. "I just love the independency ... I'm
seeing maturity," said a mother whose 19-year-old
daughter was away at college.
Parents also found themselves advising or mentoring
their child, but not as an authority figure. "It's
not like talking to my daughter," one father said.
"It's like talking to one of my own peers."
There were exceptions. In some families, the
transition was rocky, with kids disconnecting from
the family to the point that parents felt cut out of
their child's life.
Some
parents still needed to lay down the law in certain
situations, like the father who commented on his
son's visits home. "He knows, for instance, if he
stays out all hours of the night while he is here,
he is going to hear about it. Certain rules still
apply," said the father.
As
for money, kids weren't flying solo just yet. Their
parents were still helping them out financially.
©
WebMD. All rights reserved.
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"It's not like talking to my daughter," one
father said. "It's like talking to one of my own
peers." |
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